Closed.

I'm holding back everything, making this world so screwed up, full of hatred.

Hang on, just for a while more.

So long, farewell, I need to say GOODBYE.

228 days old. [:

Current Mood: Confused, forever confused.

Title much self-explanatory. My blog is 228 days old. In 137 days, my blog will be one year old. [:

I wonder if my blog can exist that long or not. I've been tempting to close down my blog, my friendster account, and everything. I don't know why either.

I've always got this very mixed up feeling. I don't know if I'm happy or sad. Most probably I'm feeling sad AND emo, or else I wouldn't be thinking so much.

I'm trying to live life to the fullest, but the smallest, most teeny tinyest thing can affect my mood. For example, Djie and ErJie bought a shirt each for Daddy today. So Mum was like, "what about you Mal?" Oh yeah, like as if I can afford to buy Daddy a TOPMAN SHIRT which will cost, obviously, at least more than 40 bucks each, when I can't even afford my own meals at times.

Look, they paid the shirts using Dad's own money okaye. Why? Because they use their money in the bank account, which is their allowance, which is also Dad's own money! It makes sense, doesn't it? I've been telling you bitch to get me an ATM card but you always give me this bushuang look, like as if you are very reluctant to get one for me. So I'm obviously too broke to buy ANYTHING, even too broke to go out okaye. And I totally hate getting money from my parents, really. I've never ever reached both hands out to my parents for money on my own, except for important stuff, like school stuff. I've never wanted money from my parents to hang out with my friends, and even for meals during the holidays. I hate taking money from them, because I'll feel useless, seriously.

I was just text-chatting with Fel just now. I was telling her 3 - no, 4 of the things I must accomplish in my life. The very first thing I told her was that I want to be rich, so I WON'T BE LOOKED DOWN ON AND LAUGHED AT BY MY OWN PARENT. And obviously, the second thing is that I'd wanna go to UK and live there, maybe. Third is to NOT HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ANYMORE! I HATE IT! I want to be happy always. It sounds stupid but it's true. Lastly, I'd wanna influence as much people as possible to LOVE McFLYYYYYYYYYYY. :D:D:D:D:D

I'm hating life these days, as much as I'm hating you bitchwhore. Why's life so easy for some, yet so difficult for others? Oh fuckkkkk.

I want to change my Xanga look so badly.

If only we were fated to be ~ ♥

Uncertainty.

Current Mood: Mixeddddd, so mixed up.

I've Got You - that's the song I'm listening to now. McFly~ awww. (:

I just came back home from an awesome dinner of Sakae Sushi's at Marina Square. (: AND, I finally did some proper shopping! There wasn't much time for us to shop though, because by the time we finished dinner, it was already 8 plus. So we only went to shop in Zara and Mango. Little as it seems, I did bought quite some stuff. So, y-a-y. (:

I was supposed to collect my pay at SuperDog's today with Jolyn, but Djie and the rest decided to go cycling last-minute. So I msged Jolyn to cancel our date. Sorry my dear. ): Unfortunately, the rain didn't stop, and obviously, the weather made them feel lazy, so we didn't go cycling. We ended up playing mahjong, which caused me to lose around 3 bucks, when in the first place I suggested playing with money because I was reeeeeally broke and I reeeeeally needed money. But they all gave me their earnings in the end, because we played kinda small and all their earnings were in coins. I guessed they didn't wanna keep coins, that's why it's all in my piggy bank now. So I guess I still did earn quite a few bucks? Hahaha. :D

I've been spending too much this holiday, really. HongKong, Perth, KL, PSL camp, and class chalet. I've estimated the amount I've spent this holidays including every single expenditure like shopping, camp, chalet, it should be around 4K or 5K. It's an awfully huge amount to me, and I feel really bad spending so much (though it does include a very small part of my own savings). What's more, I think my pay from SuperDog's and the bookshop adds up to only 2% of what I've spent.

I've failed, once again. I've failed to keep to my promise, to save and earn at least 500 bucks. How am I ever going to be able to show my parents that I'm capable of taking care of myself, that I'm capable of going overseas to study at UK next year?

I don't care. I must do it, and I WILL do it. I'm gonna be able to do it, NOTHING'S GONNA STOP MEEEEE.

Daddy was just telling me over the mahjong table just now, that I should have had enough fun this holiday, and I must start studying very very extremely hard for my O levels next year. I'd be lying if I said I'm not afraid of it, I am actually. But what can I do? I don't like studying, but I don't want to give up studying either. I hate this. How I wish the exams are already overrrrr. ):

I hate this confusion in me. I feel so effed. Arggggg, seems so paradoxical.

I don't care, I'm going to try my bessssst to study hard and be able to show my parents that I can study in UK on my own at the age of 17.

I WILL, I MUST, I CAN! :D

They are the ones I'd wanna be with right now~
♥ McFly & HP Family ♥

Western Australia (Perth):

Malaysia (KL):

Santa's arriving in 9 days. [:

Current Mood: Bored. :/

I know my blog is dying soon, that's why I'm back now to feed it with posts, so HELLO EVERYONE, I'M BACK! :D

I've been pretty busy these days, and still will be till next Wednesday. 2 days just after I came back to Singapore from my KL trip, I've got a 3-day-2-night PSL camp which ended just ystd, and I'll be off to 3 Diligence '07's chalet tmr till Wednesday.

It's only 2 weeks plus till the school holidays end! I am sooo dreading the idea of going back to school, waking up at an inhumane time of 6 everyday, and trying to pay attention to boring lessons, like SCIENCE. :/ AND AND AND, I am definitely not excited about the fact that I'm turning 16 because O LEVELS ARE HERE! Killers!

Whenever I think about O's, I'd think about going to UK. I can't stop, really. I really want to study there right after finishing O's.

Ohmannn.

I've quit my job at SuperDog's, oh well I don't wish to talk about it anymore. It's been getting on my nerves so much, I've decided to quit.

Christmas is arriving soon, I'm sooo anticipating it. :D